Ticking Time Bomb

I'm a ticking time bomb
I can't stand when my thoughts
Stay stuck in my head
And strangle me this guilt's a python
I can't let bygones be bygones
I beat myself up when I'm wrong
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead
Cuz these problems are lifelong
When I mess up, I can never let it go
Frozen in place, where did the seconds go?
If I'm losing my mind, I wonder what is next to go
Wishing it would stop, but I can't end the show
I rewind through my brain and find these memories
Why am I in pain? Why does all of this get to me
Wish I could explain, I might need a documentary
The truth got me in chains, maybe all of this is meant to be
When I'm gone, do they wish I was there
If I'm feeling lost do they want me to share
If my brain is off and I sit in despair
Do they see what's wrong, I'm fishing for some air
But there's none left in my pond so it's good riddance if you care
I'm a ticking time bomb
I can't stand when my thoughts
Stay stuck in my head
And strangle me this guilt's a python
I can't let bygones be bygones
I beat myself up when I'm wrong
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead
Cuz these problems are lifelong
Nowadays I'm always stressed out
Criticize myself and second guess how
I ended up where I am, did I take the best route?
Haven't been myself and I'm settling for less now
8 to 9:30 I'll be stuck right to my bed
Apartment so dirty that it's messing with my head
Doing what hurts me, I should get some help instead
Hoping that you heard me and you notice what I said
Dishes piled up, I'm reusing dirty spoons
Maybe if I try it once, I can eat before it's noon
Always lying 'bout what's done, and the deadlines coming soon
I got miles left to run, but I'm already on fumes
Something made me snap, so I went and lost my cool
Judgement had a lapse, eyes covered by the wool
Of the rage that had me trapped cuz I gave it all the fuel
Now it's making me collapse, why's my mind so cruel?
I'm a ticking time bomb
I can't stand when my thoughts
Stay stuck in my head
And strangle me this guilt's a python
I can't let bygones be bygones
I beat myself up when I'm wrong
Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead
Cuz these problems are lifelong