Self-Mutilation

I'm a loser, composer of some confusion
Shed my body tissue, I need a blood infusion
Using over the counters
I guess I don't amount to the racehorse of resilience
I'm too afraid to mount her
I'm proud of
What I did, double check, it's not a fib
Take a knife out the kitchen draw, slice my carotid
People talk about this life but it's not as good as it gets
When the going gets tough, for the exit, make a blitz
Setting the bar in hopes to touch stars
Black does crack cause I got all these scars, in awe
If there's really a god, please send me a sign
Show me your face, let me see who you are
Where you at while I'm peeling my flesh?
Edges to melanin
Blood splattered on desks
Corrupted, incendiary, I'm downing the Bloody Mary
I'm very discouraged, man I'm under duress
Oximetry tachycardic
Self-harm, it's been applauded
Bandaids and brace in the wooden cabinet because I bought it
Grab the reigns to grip and grapple this bloody scalpel
I need to have confessions, direct me to the nearest chapel
I'm basically joking the chapel's better off having raffles
Wheel of fortune, praying to God that I'm not a bastard
Drop to my knees, pour out my heart that's been unraveled
Judging me with the gavel
I'm touching on grit and gravel
Pittering-pattering breaking tackles like I'm the Packers
Stop my pain so put my arms inside the shackles
I find comfort in blood flow
It becomes my rap flow
I'm sick of the expression "only God knows"
But does he?
On the ground like rugby
On the bench out the game, the world saw fit to sub me
Abruptly
Keeping some money but refusing the company
I worry about more than if she loves me
Bam, defender
Y'all some pretenders
Love mama forever, so they call me black panther
Chivalry is dead, they have hidden agendas
What's the point of a bank that doesn't approve any lenders?
Surrender
Submit to my tears and fears, it's painfully clear that my suicide is drawing near
Raise a glass for death
Everyone say "cheers"
Ironic I'm not alcoholic, so no beer
It'll be soon
I'll be lost
I'm a loser, let's dead all this confusion
Several infractions, I have several contusions
I'm using the excuses apologizing profusely in advance for the effort I put towards abusing
Drugs and mean mugs, stare upon my ugly mug
I sweep my emotions underneath the rug
Enough of this meaningless existence
I've seen so many stars in the sky for my wishes
They weren't granted, disbanded, my feet were planted but couldn't stand it I landed in misery cause I was pitching it underhanded
It'll be soon
I'll be lost
I lose, I'm a loser, retire like Carlos Boozer
One or the other
Picker and chooser
I choose happiness
See you at the funeral
You ever seen something traumatizing but instead of the trauma you took an interest in Pain so you deciphered your karma?
Once upon a time, some would say that I'm a charmer
Repel all females, some would say that I'm an alarm-er
Disarmer
Took a page out of the book called "father"
Misusing the substance, I know I'm a bother
Tomato-tomato, I don't care, pish-posher
One day I'll cut to deep and I'll become a martyr